Shadows of Remembrance

I heard Hannah laugh the other day.  I was in the kitchen getting something and I heard a belly laugh that had to be her.  When I turned around, I saw Levi holding Joshua by the ankles and pulling him across the floor.  Joshua thought it was great and was laughing just like his big sister always would.  This sight and the laughter immediately took me back to when Levi would do the same thing with Hannah at our home in Pennsylvania.  The only difference was that Levi is now almost twice the size he was then…and it wasn’t Hannah.

We’ve been back in the states for several months now.  In our short time back we have already been in about 6 states for various reasons and we haven’t even really begun our travel for support raising yet.  We have also celebrated three birthdays (Levi’s, mine and then Jacob’s).  It has been a busy several months for sure.  Despite that, I would say that we are pretty well settled overall.  It is different though…much different than when we were in the states before Kenya.  It has moments of familiarity where I remember what life used to be like for us, but then it’s just different again.  Different state, different job, different friends (mostly), different house, different routine, different life.

We had expected this to be a difficult transition and we were right.  In fact, moving back to the U.S. has been more difficult than moving to Kenya was in the first place.  There are a lot of reasons for this I suppose…the pace of life in America, moving to a new area, starting a new job, among others.  It has also been hard as we have come across some of Hannah’s things time and again as we packed and repacked.  There were some of her old clothes, several toys, and even some items we had purchased with plans to have them brought to Kenya when she was older.  Each item triggers it’s own flood of memories of playtime, of laughter, of special events, or of what everyday life used to be like.  And just as quickly as we are taken back in time, we are ripped back into the reality of the present.

 

Even Joshua brings back memories of his sister.  We expected there to be some hard times as Joshua began approaching Hannah’s age when she died.  There are still about 3-4 months to go until then but instances like his laughter have already rushed us into that phase.  It’s bittersweet to see him grow up and replicate what his big sissy used to do just before we said our last goodbyes.  I remember fondly walking into our Tenwek apartment and seeing her crawl over to me so she could be held by her daddy.  Although Joshua is more of a mama’s boy, he too will crawl over to be picked up.  (Usually this is so I can hand him of to his mother, but it is still pretty cute.)  Joshua is also now at the age of cute destruction.  His sister had this down to a science.  She would misbehave and then flash her smile which usually got her out of trouble, at least with me.  Now it’s Joshua’s turn and so often it’s like I’m looking at Hannah all over again.  While we love watching him grow, explore and learn, it is hard not being able to watch Hannah grow up along with him and his brothers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But even with these bittersweet moments, we know that this is where we have been called to for this season of life.  We have already met so many amazing people (some knew us already from our blogs and from Facebook).  We are making new friends and developing new relationships.  I have the privilege to work with some incredible faculty at the medical school and I absolutely love working with the students there.  While working at the clinic is a bit outside of what I am used to, I get to work with some great people there as well.  It is humbling to be at Liberty and to have these opportunities and we are extremely grateful.

 

Over the years we have been blessed by people who have poured into our lives and we are now in a position to try and pay it forward.  I still remember instances when families would open their homes to us for a meal.  Recently we had the chance to have a few students over to share a meal and to discuss missions among other topics.  It was a great time for everyone.  The boys especially loved it as they had become accustomed to having guests in our house regularly while living at Tenwek.  (It also helped that our guests brought mustaches for everyone to wear as we celebrated our Mexican fiesta.)  We are hopeful that we can make these gatherings a regular occurrence.

A couple weeks ago I also had the honor of being asked to speak at LUCOM’s weekly convocation where students and faculty meet to sing worship songs and listen to a variety of different speakers.  I felt compelled to share part of our story of walking through the loss of Hannah.  While technology interfered in a big way, I was able to share how God has been and continues to guide us through her home going.  I was also able to share a slideshow that I put together to the song Though You Slay Me by Shane & Shane.  (Well it was being shared until again, technology stopped cooperating.)  Recently there was a write up about convocation, which you can read here if you would like.

So life for the Kelleys has finally begun to settle into a pretty regular routine.  Thank you so much for your prayers and ongoing support for our mission.  We are honored to have so many standing with us.  We have sent out several batches of our new prayer cards already.  If you have not received one, please let us know and we will be sure to get one out to you as soon as possible.

 

Prayer requests:

-Pray for us and two other missionary families as we will soon be packing a 40 foot container to send our personal belongings to Kenya.  The logistics of this are complicated at best as we pack, unpack, repack, and plan.  Pray it goes smoothly and that all items would arrive intact.

-Pray for our students here at LUCOM.  The challenges of medical school are immense but it provides an opportunity for immense growth professionally and spiritually.  Pray that many of the students will be given a heart for missions (in the states and around the world).

-Pray that I will be used in whatever way possible to help the students as they pursue missions.

-Pray for the staff at Tenwek as there are almost always gaps.  Pray for our patients at Tenwek, that they will receive both physical and spiritual healing.

-Pray for one of our Tenwek employees, Andrew.  I mentioned it on our FB page.  He has suffered significant injuries as the result of a motorcycle accident.  He remains in serious condition on a vent in the ICU.

-Pray for us as I have four conferences to attend in the next couple months.  Some are strictly medical while others are missions oriented.

-Pray for my Christian Medical & Dental Association (CMDA) presentation.  I was asked to be the speaker for their national monthly webinar.  Pray that what I present will be used to further the Kingdom.

-Pray for guidance.  I have had several more people ask about the possibility of writing a book about our experiences.  I don’t have a clue how to do that, what it would look like, or if that is what we are to do now.