Longing for Home

The past couple weeks have been rough.  As we expected, it was hard leading up to the anniversary of Hannah’s death.  Lately work at the hospital has also been increasingly difficult.  There have been a lot of administrative issues making things extremely stressful.  Additionally we have been seeing a lot of really sick people (which honestly is nothing new).

 

Currently we have two emergency medicine residents with us in casualty, which has been amazing.  Everyone knows that ER docs are a different breed and it has been great to spend some time with other “crazy” folks.  Overall patient volumes have been down but for the past week but we have had at least one crash airway requiring intubation every day.  Monday morning is one such example.

 

Casualty wasn’t too busy.  We had a few patients that had been admitted and were still awaiting space on the wards to open up but otherwise, there wasn’t too much activity.  Then he came in.  Twelve years old, unresponsive, and no clear history as to what was going on.  We were told that he had been fine and as he was walking to school he collapsed and developed a nose bleed.  There had been no seizures, fevers or vomiting.  No one seemed to know anything else.  Looking at him, it was clear that he was quite ill.  He was breathing on his own but his oxygen saturation was poor so we set up for intubation.

 

As we were setting up our equipment to protect his airway, he developed flash pulmonary edema (bloody fluid began filling his lungs and impairing our ability to oxygenate his body).  We proceeded with intubation (which was complicated by all the fluid and by the fact that he began vomiting) and successfully secured an airway.  We discussed the need for a head CT given the unusual (and very incomplete) history, but for a variety of reasons this didn’t happen immediately.

 

One of the problems with emergency medicine is that, more often than not, we have to make decisions with limited or inaccurate information.  Additional history was able to be obtained from other family members after he was admitted.  It turns out he had been complaining of headaches for several days and prior to his collapse he complained to a friend that this was “the worst one ever”.   He also had experienced some episodes of vomiting over the preceding days.

 

A head CT was done and showed that the cause of his extreme illness was a large bleed probably from an A-V malformation (an abnormal connection in blood vessels in his brain).  This young boy was essentially walking around with a ticking time bomb in his brain, and time ran out.  He remained under the able care of our pediatric team but sadly he developed extreme swelling of his brain, which ultimately caused him to die.

 

Missing Hannah and seeing so many deathly ill patients over the past several days has really made me long for home.  Not my Tenwek home, not even my home in Pennsylvania…but my real home.  I recently came across a quote from C.S. Lewis.  “Imagine a set of people all living in the same building.  Half of them think it is a hotel, the other half think it is a prison.  Those who think it a hotel might regard it as quite intolerable, and those who thought it was a prison might decide that it was really surprisingly comfortable.  So that what seems the ugly doctrine is one that comforts and strengthens you in the end.  The people who try to hold an optimistic view of this world would become pessimists: the people who hold a pretty stern view of it become optimistic.”

 

Our world is an amazing place.  The more I study about the uniqueness of earth, the more certain I am that it was created specifically for the pinnacle of God’s creation…mankind.  But everything changed after the Fall.  There is an orbiting ball of fire millions of miles away that provides us with warmth, food, and endless energy.  But this same sun is the cause of droughts and damages our cells resulting in deadly cancers.  Consider the ocean and its beauty.  Who doesn’t love standing at the shore feeling waves crash over their feet?  But those same waves when strengthened in the form of a tsunami have the potential to kill thousands in just an instant.  This world is full of beauty and wonder, but when mankind sinned against God it also filled with death, disease, pain and suffering.

 

If this earth were all we had, it would be hard not to be pessimistic about the grim events that occur with such regularity.  Seeing so many sick men, women and children die every week would be an understandable cause for complete despair.  I am so thankful that Jesus has created a way to a much better place.

 

Heaven is that place.  It is the place where I will finally be able to hold, dance, and play with my little girl again.  But if Heaven is only a place of reunion (and that is certainly a huge point of excitement for me), then I have settled for far far less than what we are promised.  Heaven is the place where our world is no longer marred by the stain of sin, death and suffering.  It is the place where happiness and joy exceed anything we could experience here…beyond imagination.  It is the the place where my eyes will reveal the one in whom I have placed my faith.  Heaven is the home that I am longing for and the place where I truly belong.

 

Prayer requests:

1.  Be praying for our interns.  Yesterday we had a graduation celebration for the MOs.  We are blessed to be keeping several here at Tenwek while others prepare to start their careers elsewhere.  Pray that they will effectively use their medical and spiritual gifts to minister to those whom they serve.

2.  Pray for all of the kids involved in Bible quizzing.  This weekend is the end of the quizzing cycle for this year.  May the scriptures they learned remain in their hearts and minds.  May they apply the truths they learned in their lives.

3.  Pray for the 800 students at Tenwek boy’s high school.  I had the privilege to speak there this morning.  May they continue to deepen their faith and walk with the Lord.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4.  Pray for the prisoners at Bomet prison.  A couple weeks ago, I was able to participate in a medical outreach there.  At least one young man I saw committed his life to Christ.  May he and others grow in faith.  May they be a light to many others.

5.  Continue to pray for our patients.  While the needs are immense, we continue to see both physical and spiritual healing occurring regularly.  Thank you for the part you are playing in the lives of our patients.